DEALING WITH DIFFERENCES AND DISAGREEMENTS
Realistically, every couple will have differences and disagreements. It is normal…. Do you remember the phrase “men are from Mars and women are from Venus”? Both are human, however, in a relationship there can be hiccups or tsunamis, but fortunately, we can improve our relationships with a few practical skills. This is one creative way to deal with negative issues:-
Choose a time and place where you will be private and not be disturbed. Agree to switch off mobiles etc.
Select one important issue that you would like to resolve.
Define the issue so that you are both on the same page.
Unemotionally, if possible, share your own personal feelings about the issue, and allow your partner to do the same. Avoid trying to suggest solutions at this stage, just ‘hear’ each other and try to understand their feelings, even if you do not agree with them.
Attack the problem, not each other!
List the things you have done to resolve the issue that have NOT been successful. Do not slip into the ‘blame game”! Look at the issue objectively. In many cases the disagreement stems from a lack of proper communication, etc.
If possible, inject a bit of light-hearted humour, but avoid making it personal. Rather, as a couple, see the comic side to some issues. However, be sensitive to each other in this, e.g. “O dear we really dropped the ball in this instance!”
Brainstorm possible solutions, try to find at least about 10 possible solutions, asking for divine wisdom from God. Do not judge or criticize any suggestions at this point just look at the pro’s and con’s of each suggestion. Then select one possible solution to implement and discuss how each will work towards the chosen solution.
Set a date, time and place, within a week or two, to discuss your progress. Acknowledge each other’s positive contribution and effort in working towards the solution.
Plan some regular pleasurable activities that you can engage in as a couple.
Effort from both will reap a rich benefit in enhancing your lives!
